Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover - Thoughts and reading journey
Back in 2014, I was just a teenager who didn't know much about love. But let me tell you, this book hit me hard. I cried for a whole week after reading it. Fast-forward ten years, and I decided to give it another go. And you know what? It was still worth it. That's why I'm here, sharing my thoughts on this book with you.
What is it with Colleen Hoover books?
Colleen Hoover's books have something that seems to captivate readers time and time again. And I think one of the reasons for this is her ability to take personal stories and transform them into relatable narratives with her engaging writing style.
Whether it's grappling with themes of love, loss, or redemption, she has a knack for tapping into universal emotions and experiences that you can resonate with, easily.
Ugly love - Overview
Something I liked about this book is that the narrative moves between past and present, unraveling the intricate relationship between Tate and Miles.
In summary: Tate, moves in with her brother, Corbin, who happens to be Miles's neighbor/colleague. Tate feels attracted to Miles, a pilot with a tragic past that has left him emotionally closed off. Despite Miles's insistence on keeping their relationship strictly physical and devoid of emotional attachment, Tate finds herself falling for him (And Miles for her, but he takes a bit more time to accept that, wow, so typical).
Through heartbreaking flashbacks, you witness Miles's devastating loss in the past (not getting into much detail), and the subsequent guilt and self-imposed emotional exile he experiences as a result. And as Tate learns more about Miles's past, she grapples with her own feelings and the realization that love may not be enough to heal his wounded soul.
What is it with us, women, always trying to fix men?
Mile’s Past and Emotional Baggage:
Miles carries an emotional burden because of a tragic event in his past. This leaves him emotionally scarred, consumed by guilt and grief that he struggles to overcome. His unresolved trauma manifests as a reluctance to fully invest in romantic relationships, leading to his emotionally distant demeanor in his relationship with Tate.
His fear of emotional vulnerability and intimacy acts as a barrier, preventing him from fully opening up to Tate and reciprocating her affection (why is this so common?) This emotional distance creates tension and conflict between them, as Tate yearns for a deeper connection while Miles remains guarded.
Tate and Mile’s relationship: A toxic one?
This was a genuine human relationship, one that defies simple categorization as toxic or wrong. It was a profound journey for Tate and Miles. And what I love about Coollen's books is her commitment to portraying imperfect characters, allowing us the space to both criticize and empathize with their flaws and virtues. They’re humans, after all, flawed yet relatable.
I consider Tate and Miles's relationship a deeply and complex emotional journey that can be seen as difficult and tumultuous. At its core, their connection is marked by intense passion, intricate understanding and (fckng good) chemistry, drawing them together. But is that enough?
Miles's unresolved grief and guilt was a significant obstacle in their relationship, causing tension and heartache for both. Despite their undeniable connection, Miles's emotional turmoil threatens to overshadow their opportunity to love.
In summary, Tate and Miles's relationship in "Ugly Love" is an exploration of love, loss, and emotional vulnerability. With a connection full of passion and understanding, it also has its challenges and conflicts because of Miles's emotional turmoil. Through key moments of intimacy and conflict, their relationship unfolds as a captivating yet ultimately bittersweet journey of self-discovery and healing.
Key Themes and Symbols:
"Ugly Love" by Colleen Hoover delves into several key themes, but the central ones would be love and loss. Underscoring complexities of relationships and the resilience of our human spirit when overcoming grief.
Another important theme is the concept of emotional baggage and its impact on relationships, acting as a barrier to fully move on and opening to other connections.
There’s also a recurring theme in this book: Healing and redemption. Miles and Tate are forced to confront their wounds and go into a journey of healing.
Oh and, Miles is a pilot, what could be the theme or symbol there? I think it represents an escape for Miles. His need to escape his past pain, but also symbolizes the capability to transcend his limitations and finally get free of his suffering with love and vulnerability.
Does Miles love Tate more than Rachel?
While it's tempting to compare the depth of Miles's love for Tate with his love for Rachel, I think that would be like totally missing the point. I’m a firm believer, each relationship holds its own significance and impact on our life’s journey.
I can’t deny Miles shared a profound connection with Rachel, marked by significant moments and experiences that have left a lasting imprint on his heart. Their bond was genuine and meaningful, but it was also marked by tragedy. However, the fact that Miles has moved on and found love with Tate doesn't diminish the love he felt for Rachel. People come into our lives in different times with different purposes, and the love we feel for them is valid and unique to each relationship.
This made me think of our human nature that usually make us want to be "the first" or "the only" person in someone else's life. But at the end, this obsession with exclusivity can be unrealistic. Previous relationships should not be used to invalidate your present ones or viceversa. I think humans can love multiple people throughout their lives, each relationship offering its own lessons and growth opportunities.
